Our Social Issues

I once vowed I wouldn't blog me me me me me stuff because sometimes I hate reading it, but that's where my mind is today- I need to sort things out and sometimes I don't even know what I'm thinking until I write it.

Someone asked me today "How do you do it?" And it was an honest question from a frazzled mom. She has two kids under the age of ten and we were talking about kids social and extra curricular things. She's having a hard time with the scheduling and running around. They leave the house 3-4 days a week for dance, singing, piano, karate, a language thing, and a few co-ops. Plus, they're homeschooling.

We have social issues in my house. For example- for the past year or so I've been an introvert- I have no desire to leave my house or go to new places. I'm "un-working" Which basically means I am decompressing from a period of time where my work consumed me for up to 16 hours a day, 7 days a week. So anyways- I don't want to go anywhere. My kids, however, are social butterflies. Helicopters. Especially M1.

She is the girl who paces back & forth on the phone for hours at a time. She has like five best friends, and they all have very different personalities. She compares their family histories and personalities and her whole life is one big critical thinking worksheet, like those Venn diagrams. When she's not pacing the floor on the telephone, she's following me around the house repeating every conversation, with her personal interpretation of the psychology behind their actions and word choices.

She has this party-planning system. She uses notebooks to plan parties, with themed games, costumes, decor (all from Oriental Trading Company) activities and guests whose personality profiles would lend themselves easily to the differing social dynamics each theme would demand. For example, Helena wouldn't go to the Barbie party, and Fiona wouldn't enjoy the Scary-movie party, and there are certain homeschoolers you just can't invite to a Harry Potter party. That's just a fact of life.

Planning parties isn't enough for her, though. She plans clubs, too. When she was 6 she had her first club. It was a book club- a genius little idea, I thought. Each child would sit around the circle, and talk about their favorite book. At the end of the circle-time everyone would trade books, and they'd get to take someone else's book home to enjoy until next time. Where does she get these ideas?

Her current club- a cooking club. Every week my house is full of five or six 10-14 year olds. She calls them all the day before and tells them which ingredient to bring, and then they make some kind of dessert she chose. Yesterday was the first time the recipe didn't work out- fudge cream puffs, darnit.

She wants other clubs, too but hasn't yet challenged my one-club-at-a-time rule yet. Plus- I find she needs to "come down" off of her social highs or she gets too worked up. She needs to talk talk talk about everything that just happened before she has another social event, otherwise she gets cranky. I'm hoping blogging will help her in that department.

And that's just one kid, the others have social issues, too- but not as extreme as her.

G1 simply HAS to get away every now and then. Luckily she has a best friend with NO other little children in the house, it must be such a relief to be focused on by a friend.

E1's biggest social issue right now is the move, at 14 it's a dramatic heartbreaking thing. Which I totally understand, I moved at 14 and it was SO HARD, I do feel for her, but at the same time- cry me a river, y'know. And unload the dishwasher.

M2, the diva also has a social issue, she simply MUST be in charge. Luckily, her best friend is equally as headstrong and demanding, so they're a perfect pair. Every time they play, they boss each other around until one declares "I am not your best friend anymore." Then they cry, they make up and boss each other around again, it's great fun.

G2 is a little over 2 1/2. Her social issue is that she's attached to my hip whenever we leave the house. I hope she stays that way, really. and E2 is attached... elsewhere.

So- since they all have such detailed and complicated social lives, I really don't have much to do. So I write, and I work online to supplement our income. I'm not running around chauffeuring kids because they do things here, my husband works from home so he can drive. They can walk to some things, things that are nearby. We arrange carpools when possible.

To that poor frazzled mom who asked "how do you do it?" The honest answer (which I just thought of) is that I delegate and try not to leave my house. Unfortunately, the answer I gave her was really stupid- I think I said "Well, we manage" which really means I never thought about it. And thank goodness, because that was exhausting.