Voluntaryists?

I wasn't quite sure what this term meant until I read The Voluntaryist Website I thought it was interesting, I went directly for the FAQ's and found the "Voluntaryist talking points" to be helpful. Interestingly, my dad, a conservative republican (I'm guessing, by the way he spits the word 'goddamned liberals') has spoken of these very same things.

When he spits about liberals, he says that they're taking away all of our rights in order to protect ourselves from ourselves. Do we need a "rule" for everything? Case in point- car seats (since this is a travel blog) When I was a baby there weren't any regulations on car seats. When my first daughter was born, she wasn't allowed to leave the hospital until a nurse 9a trained MEDICAL professional) verified that we did, in fact, have a car seat and that it was installed properly. The rule at that time, would have her in a car seat until she was 4 years old or 40 pounds. Today, the rule states that my kids be in some kind of car seat until they are 8 years old or 80 pounds.

Cars were heavier and sturdier back in my day, I'm not arguing that these laws protect kids, but I'm arguing that there doesn't need to be a law. Let the stupid destroy themselves, and allow me my freedom to decide to use technology at my own risk.


Anyways- as unschoolers, we're totally into non-coercive leadership and I do think the world would be a better place if everyone held fast to personal accountability and making their own decisions based upon what's best for them. Instead, we have a situation where people are "forced" to follow certain rules that were made in the interest of big companies and the government instead of being allowed to voluntarily live life with the freedom that we're supposed to have as Americans.

Anyway- check them out, what do you think? They make some interesting points that I can relate to but it's hard to picture that kind of life, it's so different from what we're living.

Moving my Blog

Originally published on 2-19-09 - Subscribers won't notice this because I switched it all over in feedburner, but if you're accessing this via mrshannigan.com (expired and NOT renewing because ipower SUCKS, never buy a domain through them they SUCK. a lot.) or mrshannigan.blogspot.com then you need to move your bookmark to Lisa Russell.org I hope I don't lose too many people this way, the new site is beautiful. I had to make it because I did such a good job on the restaurant's site (still not open yet) that my own site as a credit to myself was an embarassment, total amateur. So now i feel inclined to update all the sites I have, even the ones I've done for friends. Let's see how that turns out. In the meantime, make a note of the new site's address because this one will not be updated with new posts anymore, but I might add a few more ads or something

Dancing Baby

Evelyn has a hobby lately, called wrapping cords around her neck. It's quite alarming and has landed her in the maya wrap more often than she'd probably like. Luckily, I found a handful of zip ties, so we should be good. I think she's pretending they're jewelry, the whole thing started with a necklace. Either ways, cords +necks=stress, y'know.

Here she is dancing to one of the kids' favorite songs, from Starfall.com, which is a great "first website" for small children to learn letter sounds. A lot of people don't realize that they also have printable worksheets and certificates, as well as bob-book type books, with Zac the Rat and the other characters from the site. Check them out, and enjoy my little dancing baby.

My Valentine's Gift to You

DISCLAIMER- IF YOU LIKE THIS GIFT I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT, OK.

I did some shopping for you. I heard that e-erotica is one of the most popular online valentine's gifts happening right now, so I browsed through several very crappy and racy looking e-books (it was a lot of hard work, and I did it just to save you the trouble, OK) and picked the best of the best. I narrowed about 160 options down to only 9 that look worthy of attention. I removed ones that were

A- poorly written (including horrific grammar and spelling errors. I'm no expert but when it flows, it flows)
B- way too racy for my comfort level
C- geared toward single people


If your romance is in need of a little sparking up here are a few you might want to check out... Some of them look quite interesting. That's the beauty of an ebook, you can download it and no-one, not even your mail delivery person knows you've got it. I think your husband would notice, though. Good luck with that...
Here's what I found:

1) 500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets. More Passion & Intimacy With Great Sex From Oprah Romance Expert Tips Will Drive Your Man Or Woman Wild.

2) The Sexually Skilled Husband. How Christian Married Couples Can Have Great Sex.

3) 100 Great Sex Games For Couples By Michael Webb, Relationship Expert. Improve Your Foreplay And Lovemaking To Create Explosive And Passionate . Several Great Bonuses Included.

4) Hypnotically Attract And Keep Any Man! Secret Hypnotic (and Unique!) Techniques For Giving Women A Massive Advantage In Love, Dating, Romance, Sex And Marriage. Turn Men Into Passionate Servants And Motivated Warriors!

5) Sex Satisfaction For The Christian Wife. How Christian Wives Experience Total Sexual Satisfaction.

6) Better Sex Audiobook And EBook(R) Guides. Dazzle Your Partner With Amazing Kama Sutra Positions Or Create A Deeper Spiritual Connection With Our Tantra Sex Tips.

7) A Big Beautiful Woman Guide To Great Sex. Romantic Self Help E-book For Big Beautiful Women Who Want To Spice Up Their Love Life.

8) Amy's Better Sex Tutorial - Reshape Your Womanhood. A Full Guide To Better Sex And Happy Relationships. Best Tips, Tricks, Techniques, Positions, Methods And Vital Advice On How To Make Great Sex, Maximize Pleasures, Satisfactions And Happiness.

9) My Husband Is Never In The Mood. Discover How To Help Your Husband Overcome Low Sexual Desire And Bring The Sex Back To Your Christian Marriage. The Latest From Christian Sex Expert, Susan Irwin.


Enjoy!

More on the Editing of Reality Shows

I read a really interesting article today, about something I long suspected and mentioned before. Reality shows aren't really reality. Ta-da. Rarely, though, do we get to see the other side of the story. Heather Martinson relates it pretty well in her re-telling of her experience on Wifeswap.

I'll bet the other woman, Kerry, was also misrepresented. I can't imagine that 2 families (and all the depth of what a family means) can possibly take part in such an in-depth week long experiment, have it edited down to a one hour show (45 minutes or so if you count commercials) ajnd NOT totally miss the point.

Nothing is black-and-white, especially a family and these shows use crafty editing to pretend that they are.

Someone said that the point of these shows is to entertain us by allowing us to judge one another and the editors make that quite easy by turning each family into eachother's polar opposite, showing every point where they disagree, all in the name of making the viewer think that both families are crazy. When you watch the show it's easy to look and say that "each family rubs off on eachother in a positive way" but I think the editors choose to show positivity at the end of the show, when it may have been there all along.

Making Pretties

Have you ever wanted to do something you've never done before, but in a really strong way, like you're CRAVING it?

When I was pregnant with Meagan I had this absolute CRAVING to go bowling and play Bingo. I had never played Bingo in my whole life, but I simply HAD to go play Bingo. it was so weird, just walking into this ramshackle Bingo hall I'd driven past for years. It was full of old ladies, none of whom gave me a second look, walking in with my ginormous belly, asking them the rules. I didn't win anything. I had to borrow a stamping-pen thing from the lady next to me (she must have had like 12 of them all laid out in different colors) and I only bought one card because... well, I didn't know you could buy more than one. I played one game, and the craving was satisfied, I never had an urge to go back.

Bowling was a bit trickier. no one wants to go bowling with someone who is 8 months pregnant. I think people were afraid I'd hurt myself. So I went alone, again. Just me & the belly. I don't even know what my score was. I had done it, and I stopped having this nagging feeling that I needed to do it.

People who believe in reincarnation would say that my baby's soul had come to earth with a checklist of "things to do again." I don't know if I believe that, but if any of my kids were to pressure me into things I wouldn't normally do, it would be Meagan.

I recently overheard a very religious woman saying that her firstborn sent her to church. "Before he was even born he was spreading Jesus' love." If I hadn't had the bowling alley and Bingo experience, I would have thought this just another ranting of a lunatic. I'm not disputing that she's a lunatic, who am I to make psychological analysis like that? I do think, though that we're to learn from our kids just as much as they learn from us.

Which is why I am taking time off of writing (except for the sites I am obligated to write for) to work on altered books, fabric art, painting and crocheting. My kids are begging to get into the art supplies that have been packed up for months and my hands are CRAVING it. Not that I'm pregnant or anything. This thirsting and lust of patterns and colors and textures, though isn't being soothed online. I need to make stuff. Pretty stuff. Maybe I'll set up an etsy shop.

Surely it Means I'm Crazy

That every now and then I have this dream where I decide to unlock the extra rooms in my house. And it's always so much fun exploring these rooms that were always there, but we never used them. And they always have really cool stuff in them. Stuff I always wanted. Like boxes filled with a million colors of paint, and tons of closet space and ink for my printer.

Crazier thing- my husband has the same dream. Actually in his dream, he walks into an unfamiliar room in our house and decides to sit down & relax, thinking "Hmmm, how come we never use this room?"

So it obviously means I am dangerously close to schizophrenia, right? And that my other personality has a way better house than I do. Anyways, I don't feel like looking it up but if you are the kind of person who loves to research dream-meanings then I'd be curious to know what's up with it. Not that I really believe all dreams have meaning, especially when nothing I do while I'm awake has any meaning, but still. If it were proof of insanity or genius, I'd like to know.

Maybe it means that i spend all day driving my kids around to all their different activities and I just want to go home.

25 things about me

So I spent all this time writing this thing up for facebook and I thought I'd put it here because no one ever sees my facebook and I thought it was pretty funny.

1- I have 6 daughters (I thought I'd start with the easy one)
2- I've never done one of these note things
3- I have a short attention span and can never watch an entire movie in one sitting
4- If I had a million dollars I'd spend a few hundred on art supplies
5- And I'd build a house with a huge art studio in it
6- And I'd lock my kids out and be obsessive about the labels facing the right direction
7- Then I'd build them a little art room so they could be artsy without ruining my stuff.
8- See how fast I change the subject
9- I secretly wanted all girls
10- I have this fear of mental illness that makes me crazy
11- I'm obsessive compulsive, seriously. I can't bear to make coffee with only one filter. There has to be two. There just does. If you ask my why to my face, I'll make something up about how I saw once on a talk show investigation that two filters increases the percentage of caffeine. It can't hurt. And it might be true. I really feel that it's true. Is there a way to test this?
12- I rarely wear makeup because I am too lazy to wash my face before bed.
13- I am a failure at mailing things. A friend of mine recently confessed that she'd make home-crafted cards and still never mailed them. The latest I've mailed mine is Valentine's day. Otherwise, I just don't mail them. I'm always amazed when i get something in the mail that was sent the other day. WOW. Some of my most favorite people are mail failures. I'd like to think maybe we're just more evolved to live in a time where email exists and everyone else is a relic from the pony express, where mail was... exciting. I also fail at opening mail. In case you wondered. Is there a mental mail disorder?
14- I don't just make a list of things to do. I fold a piece of paper into quarters, so I have eight squares and I have 5 lists on each side. There's places to go, people to call, work to do online, research to do, things to plan, things to think about and stuff to be aware of and the kids' school stuff and things to clean and things leftover from yesterday and things I'd like to do but probably won't. Once I write it down I really never look at it again all day. Unless I'm in a cross-it-off mood. I told you I was nuts.
15- I married my high school sweetheart
16- He NEVER farted until after we were married
17- I can sing every word of Seussical the Musical from start to finish. But I won't. I also invented these dance moves that go along with every song in the show. I won't show you those either. My kids know them. It's all the exercise I get.
18- I've had internet access since I was 13. That's 20 years. My stepdad works for Sun Microsystems and we had the first version of AOL ever made.
19- I started my first business at age 18, making and selling customized birth announcements that looked like newspapers, Thanks Microsoft Publisher (this was before they had years on them, I think it was 1994)
20- I had a purple VW bug in high school. You'd think that might have made me more popular or something, but no. Sadly, not at all. I was invisi-girl.
21- I hate sleeping. It is such a waste of time. There's so many things to do, things to clean, things to read about, things to do- rearrange furniture, paint things, plan things, write things, and sleeping just ruins ALL the time I have to myself. I usually go to bed between 1 and 4 am.
22- My pinky toenail is really small, so I doubt you'll ever see me in sandals. If you do, look closely. I have probably painted the skin on my toe so that at first glance it looks like there's a normal toenail there. But don't let me catch you looking because I'll obsess over it, and feel all paranoid.
20- I really loved being pregnant
21- My fingernails don't grow well either. So if you see me wearing fake nails, it's not because I'm any less of a hippy-mom, or that I'm into the toxicity of acrylic nails, it's just so I can have pretty hands, OK.
22- I wore my hair short for a while and I hated it. Every day I felt like an ugly boy. I just cut 8 inches off of it and no one noticed.
23- I had my nose pierced for a while but when we moved to Iowa I had to take it out because for the first time in my life I was being interviewed for jobs and NOT hired. Sometimes I wish I still had it.
24- I get sad when people say "terrible two's" because I completely disagree, they're so full of wonder and discovery and every day is an adventure. Now four, that might be terrible.
25- My kids were born in strange places. Hospital, car, kitchen, bedroom, shower and bathroom.

More boring fingernail stuff & why Tuesdays will never be the same

On the whole fingernail thing, Karen Cheng's son Callum did the same thing (I'm so impressed with her ability to snap a picture free from dried blood or spent nail polish) and the nurse said that since the cuticle was ripped out, it would never grow back. The base of the nail looks very similar, but from cosmetology school, I know that it's the cells beneath the lunula (moons) that make the nails So I'm not holding out hope that those cells underneath are still intact. In the meantime, I've emailed Karen (who is incidentally struggling with pregnancy depression right now and could maybe use some happy thoughts) and hopefully she'll get back to me. Perhaps the joy of Callum's perfect new fingernail will pull her out of the slumps and we'll all live happily ever after.

Is that too weird and insensitive? I've had my share of sensitivity today, thanks to the beautiful little Tuesday Whitt. Please send her family your love, too. I really don't have much else to say about that. My husband says I should stop thinking about it. It doesn't help anyone to get all depressed. He's right, but that doesn't make me look at each of my girls differently. What if it was this one, or that one, or another? How can a mother recover from that? And if she's snuggling in bed with her kids at 8am, how can she be gone at 9pm? She was diagnosed 6 months ago. Imagine- having one less child in six months. He's right, I shouldn't think about these things. But how can you not?

My Finga Nayool is Getting Off

In case you wondered- it was the white fingernail and it's beginning to lift off and she comes running upstairs with her finger held high above her head yelling "my finga nayool mamma. my finga nayool ees getting off of me. Moooooommmmm" She wanted to glue it. She doesn't want a band-aid. She's guarding it so nothing bumps it.



Plus- I took a picture. In the picture it looks crusty on the side, but it doesn't show any sign of infection. She washes it all the time because she thinks washing it makes it feel better. Whenever we put bandaids on it (several times a day, but they only stay on for 2-3 minutes) they have neosporin and when she falls asleep I drip fresh-ear-piercing-cleaning solution into it because I think it can get into the hard-to-reach spots way better than the neosporin can. Also while she's sleeping, I poke at it to see if she reacts. I figure that an infection would really really hurt a lot, and that if something was wrong she'd be very sensitive to the touch. So far, so good. I sure hope her nail bed isn't permanently damaged. I think it's amazing how she just goes about her day playing the whole time. I'd be whining, for sure.


When she discovered that it was coming off, she was more interested than upset. I was trying to comfort her by saying "It's Ok, it will grow back" and she said "Hey, I can twick daddy and make him fweak out. I will say yookit my pwitty nayools daddy and he will say eeewwww yuck."

EDITED_ because I just realized that the video was the wrong one. So here's the real video that I thought I was posting. That other one was a freebie.

My Poor Sweet Baby is so Tough

So we're getting in the car. My kids have this habit of taking their coats off when they get into the car. So they can seat belt comfortably. Then the car is nice and toasty and when we stop to get out, their coats are still in the car. I'm worse, I just don't wear one. And I have this theory that if people are cold, they'll put a coat on. Humans are capable of living in a variety of climates and where my husband is afraid we'll look negligent if our 12 year old goes without a coat, I just think she looks like a kid who thinks she's too cool to wear a coat.

So anyways, we're headed for the car and I am cold. I climb into the front seat with the baby on my lap while the other kids race for the door.

Except Gabriella closes the door the minute she gets in and I'm thinking that the reason grace is standing outside the door screaming like hell is because the door was closed and she's cold.

But that's not the case.

And I'm sitting in the front seat shivering while the baby is wrapped in my coat, yelling "Open the door, Gabriella" and darnit, that girl isn't listening, well no wonder, she can't hear me because Grace is screaming. Oh great, the lady from the art store is walking past. I smile, hoping it looks like the smile of a mom whose 3 yr old is having a nonsense tantrum outside the car and FINALLY Gabriella opens the door to let the other kids in. Grace is still screaming. 3 year olds do that sometimes, they'll scream for something and when they get it they'll continue screaming, while they wind down. Sometimes. other times, they'll stop instantly. it's a roller coaster sometimes.

And sometimes they're just screaming because their fingers were stuck in the closed door hinge.

My husband approaches the car and I'm thinking "Oh great, he's going to give her a hard time for screaming." But instead he goes pale and starts blabbering on. Now she's screaming even more. He's terrible in emergencies. That's how I can tell something is wrong.

So I fly out of the warm cozy driver's seat and scoop her up. For a moment, I wasn't sure if we needed a hospital or something. They looked normal at first glance. Not my husband's first glance. He's going nuts. So I smile as I shuffle her past the art lady (who is probably thinking I am the most neglectful mom on the planet.) i don't really want her to see him freaking out, because that scares kids and she's already upset. i hug her close and bounce her soothingly, AWAY from him as fast as I can and inside to the first aid kit. He follows me, he's asking a million questions about hospitals and 911 and I can tell he's making her nervous. i mouth "shut up... calm down" in between telling her we're going to wash it off and put a band-aid on it. She loves band-aids.

He's so sweet, unwrapping a band-aid from the first aid kit. I nearly lost my lunch when i saw that her middle fingernail was almost completely detached. I saw up under her entire nail bed. We got her rinsed off, some antiseptic antibiotic cream and fresh band-aids. She's sniffling but a little more calm now that she's bandaged. All fingers move. No strange swelling. She has feeling in each fingertip. No indication of breakage.

He made her a little sling with the gauze roll int he first aid kit. And he packaged up her whole hand with a few huge gauze pads, so she looked like a little boxer.

She fell asleep in the car on the way home, with Gabriella apologizing ten thousand times.

As soon as we got home, she wanted the band-aids off so she could play.

One fingernail was purple and another was white. I really don't remember which one was detached. I am sure that over the next few days it will reveal itself as the nail bed begins to heal and a new nail grown back.

My poor sweet baby is so tough.

Not To Be a Jerk Or Anything...

But I really do not want to drive with my daughter. Does that make me a bad mom? I am sure she's a fine driver in the little VW's they have at driving school but in MY BIG SUBURBAN she gets just a little too close to things on the right side.

So the entire time the vehicle is moving I'm clenching my fists, gasping, and sheeshing and almost screaming in fear, saying the first half of words like "OHMIGOSHGETOVER" and "AAAAHAHAHAAHHHH" and leaning over to the left, like the car will sway to safety from my weight.

Daughter says
"Relax, mom. Gosh it's not like we're going to die or anything."

And I say (quite honestly)
"I'm afraid you're going to scratch my car"

Because dying isn't that big of a deal? No, it's just not a likely outcome from bumping into everything on the right side of the vehicle. Thank goodness we're not living in Europe or we'd be in mortal danger for sure.

Nerd Fantasies

If I'm going to win a trip to BlogHer09 (which is this really cool convention where Blogging ladies all get together and wear REAL CLOTHES because they're in public and they have nametags with their blog name and their real name and you get to mingle through crowds looking at people's nametags saying things like "Sarah Fineburg- Oh my god you're the mommy with an axe... I read you ALL THE TIME" or maybe "HEY- it's Momikaze, wow you look so cute in real life" or "Wow, she doesn't look like a dominatrix" or even "Oh my god she must be 12 months pregnant, who is that? I think I'll read it instead of bothering her with it" and the dinner table conversations, I can just imagine must be so exciting. Surely we'd talk about the Twitter Motrin boycott thing, and those hideous Snuggies, and then of course there will be some technical talk, like about the Feedburner switchover to Google and maybe some conspiracy theories about how Google might be getting too big for their britches and comparisons of the earnings from different ad networks, some programming talk, so we can all be masters of CSS and PHP, because our toddlers have already mastered HTML. And then we can act all cool like we really don't care if Dooce is standing right behind us, or Amalah complimented our shoes, then wear them the whole rest of the weekend even if we brought ten other pairs. And we can wish that John Chow was secretly a woman...) OH- Sorry I got carried away. Let me start over."

If I''m going to win a trip to Blogher '09 I need to write about "What have been the rewards and benefits of participating in the blogging community" There are just so many. Like the fact that I have friends all over the country. And with 6 kids, I don't have time to be friends with my FRIENDS. I see them, as we're shuffling through town, but honestly if I stop to talk or chat in a public place I just know one of my munchkins would escape and get hit by a car or something. So Blogging has allowed me to peek into the lives of other moms and share wisdom, compassion and love. My blogging girlfriends have been through miscarriages, husband fights, divorces, custody issues, house fires, deaths in the family and kids illnesses. We can write in our blogs at any time that's convenient for us, and our friends will read it when it's convenient for them. In an instant, someone can sent a note on twitter saying "OMG, Krissy is in trouble..." and everyone runs to see how they can help." Other benefits help, too. Like when products I'm supposed to review arrive in the mail on my daughter's birthday and I'm all... "um... I ordered this for you... what is it?"
And the fact that when my husband says "_____ happened June 8th" and I can be like "UM- no because I blogged about it that night and it happened June 9th and I have a timestamp to PROVE it." Because otherwise I'd just think I was crazy. And when we call faraway friends and family, there's nothing awkward for them trying to communicate with my 6 little personalities. They know each girl individually because they read about them here, so they can catch up and everyone can feel like they know each other. The ability to learn programming languages and web design is also fun. And finally, the last reward I can think of, of participating in the blogging community is the exposure I get to other writers & journalists, so I can further my career without sacrificing my munchkins.

Let's see if that ends up being a winning answer to the question. If you want to enter, be sure to check out Mabel's Labels, because she's hosting the contest

And for the record I almost named this post "Listen to your Auntie Mabel" but I thought that might be lame and I'll bet she's heard THAT one ten thousand times, but when I was a kid my mom would say it all the time. "Keep those elbows off the table" and I was always like "We don't even have an Auntie Mabel."

Justice for Amityville

All day in my head, as I was shuttling kids to library events, recycling, picking up milk, picking kids up, taking kids to a sleepover and checking math papers and reading history stories and hanging a map on the wall, and clipping coupons and watching the Latin for Children video and learning how med school works, all I could think about is this house.

I think I wasn't really fair when I complained about all those things, so I have to even the score here. It's really my dear husband that hates every inch of it. I happen to love that the counter tops in the kitchen are flat. My old house had this broken tile issue and crap would accumulate under it and the grout was disgusting and I really hated it.

So even though the kitchen is really teeny and the oven STILL isn't working, I still don't hate the kitchen.

200 or so years ago someone here in Amityville was quite a gardener because there are beautiful-ish flowerbeds and garden statuary including a wishing well, a bird bath and a million birdhouses hanging in the trees. If that's not lovable, what is?

The skunk thing- um...yeah... I can't think of anything nice about that, except that when you first walk in it smells and then it just kind of fades away.

I think if I'm being positive and nice then I should just not mention the bathroom.

Upstairs, we have a loft that we've filled with books and games and art supplies. For the record, I'm going with the shelf-for-each-year-of TWTM history & Science plan. Because it will fit nicely.

The house sits on 4 acres

The kids' bedrooms are ginormous.

We can see ALL the stars.

We have a firepit that we can use in the summer and once it's cleaned up, I can do wood-fired pizza at home (because you know we never get enough of that, right)

Luckily the owner of the house is an electrician AND a plumber. He was able to use his professional plumbing skills to fix the drain for the washing machine, but there's still no hot water to the washing machine. I should tell him that every time any water anywhere in the house is running, every drain in the house gurgles. It would seem that all the drains in the house are running through one line. But I doubt it, since he's a plumber and all.

Luckily, he's also an electrician. So I should tell him that 2-3 times each night I have to go flip a switch in the breaker box (there are 3 boxes) in order to get the lights back on. It seems that every outlet in the house runs on one circuit. But I doubt it, since he's an electrician and all.

My dear husband is afraid that the water is filled with pesticides because we're on a well, and surrounded by orchards, so we need to have it tested before I admit to him that I've been making his morning coffee with it instead of bottled water. The diapers, though are coming out FANTASTIC. I was afraid to use them the first time I washed them because of the no-hot-water-in-the-washing-machine thing, but they came out SUPER soft and fresh and clean and on the day I forgot to bring a change of diaper into town, she didn't get a rash and I have to admit that I think this water has been really good for the diapers. The city water made them disintegrate.

And did I tell you there's a grave in the flowerbed? A little white cross with a circle of rocks around it. Apparently it's a bunny. That didn't stop me from pressing a foam Halloween skull decoration into the soil just for kicks. It amuses me. And the skull thing didn't get packed up with the other Halloween stuff. Let's see how long it stays there.

And did I ever mention that it has a little kids playhouse that's wired with electricity? Oh no. Maybe we should have it inspected.

And built-in shelving in the living room, that's charming isn't it.

And it has a hot tub that just needs to be cleaned and filter-changed.
And it has a 25 foot round doughboy pool that needs a new liner.
There's a horse stable and a fenced pasture.
Chickens would like it here, I heard they eat ticks.


OK- this feels more fair now

Dear Friend of Mine

part of me wants to say

"Oh my gosh what a lame thing to get all stubborn and fight over. Shit happens, OK. The first flaking-out was an accident, I was totally getting pulled over on my way home from taking my daughter to the pumpkin patch and she surprised me by needing a ride in the first place and I totally didn't mean to not be there when you came, OK. And the second day, Gabriella just didn't want a sleepover, I can't control that, kids get weird about things sometimes and lots of 7 yr olds don't want sleepovers. True- it was in bad taste for her to invite the neighbor to your house, but I had no idea she was going to say THAT. She could have totally gone over to play at your house and then, instead of spending the night, just come home. I would have picked her up, too. I don't know what you're thinking, maybe there's more to the story or maybe you're just being stubborn, all the best people are. I, myself am stubborn. Anyhow, so you sent me some MySpace something and I don't know where it went or what it was, but I went all loony trying to speculate if you meant something by it, like we're just supposed to pretend it never happened and start sending each other stickers and stuff again, or what? because that would be fine. I think you're awesome, you are hilarious, you're fun to be around. If I could go to Vegas with friends, you'd be one I'd love to go with. I always wished we could hang out more."

So basically, instead of saying all of this crap, I will just say

I AM SORRY.

And if you're still reading my blog then it totally proves that you still want to be friends with me, or you really are a stalker or maybe writing-me is way cooler than real-life me- I don't know.

I really don't know about all this. I don't think I've ever had an argument (is this an argument) with a friend since I've been an adult, except for that crazy Rebecca in California who'd ask her daughter "Shanny Banannny" if she wanted any "Juicy woocy in her wittle cuppy wuppy" I totally yelled at her for being a nut, but I wasn't even upset with you and I felt like a shit but I'm also annoyed because I didn't intend to do anything wrong, I really didn't think the plan-changing was a big deal. I guess it was. Sorry.


Totally sorry.

And since my apology came loaded up with my side of the story, which breaks all the apology rules but I still find explanations valuable, fell free to explain explain, so I can understand maybe you had a migraine, or a really long day or a flat tire on the way to my house, or you were just really honestly upset with me about it. let it out, girlfriend.

Sorry sorry sorry

I am so OLD

I can totally say that I am an OLD OLD OLD lady today and feel it deep in my heart.

So I'm parked at 9pm, waiting for my oldest daughter. Several other 15-16 year old kids are coming out of the building. Some of them are giggling, some are text messaging, some are just wearing a naive, goofy, beautiful smile of someone who hasn't a care in the world and just finished their first night at DRIVING SCHOOL.

I am so not ready for this.

Driving down our long dirt driveway is one thing. But actual driving on the road is another. And I looked very closely at all those other kids and I don't think I want them driving either. And I don't want my kid in the car with them. What is this world coming to? You should have seen these kids. They were all like, zitty and um, you know, 15ish. And I suspect that all my kids are going to do this one day, just, be, like um drivers and everything. Waaaaaaahaaaaaaaa. I feel so old. Would it be wrong of me to send a few headbands into the car with them because those boys can't possibly have a full range of peripheral vision with those shaggy haircuts.

So on another note, which is really the same note because it's the same daughter. guess where she wants to drive herself? Medical School.

She's always planned to be a singer when she grows up, but I never contributed much to that conversation because- well- Britney Spears scares me. And honestly, her voice is fantastic, totally beautiful. But really, how the heck do you make it as a singer?

So a few weeks ago, I casually (I really was casual about it) asked her if she's thought about her plan yet. She said no, but she was thinking about it. And that was the end of the conversation.

Apparently her and her friends have been discussing their plans because the other day she comes to me and says "I have a plan now." And I'm trying to cross my fingers and toes that it's not the singing thing, and suddenly she says "I'm doing to be a doctor." And I'm all like woohoo on the inside but on the outside, I'm saying "Cool. Like House" Because I'm thinking if I act all excited she'll change her mind. So she starts rambling on and on about all the research she's done into different specialties, and she wants to know the difference between an Obstetrician (they're the ones that deliver babies, mom) and a midwife, then she wants to tell me that an ultrasound tech is the highest paid with the least amount of schooling in the medical field, and then bla bla bla bla bla, apparently she's been doing some research on the matter.

Back in the day when we thought we'd be moving sooner, she was accepted as a volunteer at the hospital, but decided not to do it because there's a lot of training and we would have been leaving shortly afterward. So now, she's planning to re-volunteer.

One of her best friends has a plan, too. I don't remember the details, but starting a rock band was part of it. Whew, we missed it by THAT much.

I guess it's a good thing I re-downloaded that homeschool tracking software for her transcripts. Here's where I curse the stupid laptop stealing jerk again. Do you know how time-consuming it is to enter all that information? And while we're on the homeschooling topic, Maddy is reading on her own now. Today she was just reading the side of the cereal box. In my mind it only counts as official independence when they're reading something I didn't tell them to read. 4 down, 2 to go.

Drama, Love & logic

Few things amaze me more in life than the logic of a three year old, the drama of an 8year old and the love of a 5 year old.

Drama, age 8

"Fine then, I am removing this metaphorical ring of friendship and I will not forgive you until you apologize"

or how about

"My life will never be the same. When I got this shirt, it was a special day and I never get brand new shirts and now I can never wear it again, ever. Now what will I do? How will I explain this to people? My friends are EXPECTING to see me in familiar clothes."

Love, age 5
"Mommy, I love you bigger than the mountains and God. Did you know God loves us? How can God make Mountains? If God makes people big and small, then why does everyone start off as a baby, they're not big. I love you, mommy. You have big lumps under your skin on your legs. They're like... um... oatmeal. What is that? I think God just makes small people. And then they get big all by themselves. Unless he is making them GROW (her eyes light up) that's why I'm growing, isn't it? I love you, mommy. You are the prettiest mommy I ever had."


Logic, age 3

Q. Why are you naked?

A. Because I tookdid my clothe-is off.

we might get leprosy

There isn't enough bleach in the world to make me happy about the bathroom.

The slanting floors bother me more than I thought they would.

The oven broke. So we've been eating everything I can make on a George Foreman Grill and in the microwave. I can't find my crock pot.

There's no kitchen storage, it has exactly 3 drawers and some weird, deep cabinets that I completely vacuumed and scrubbed because everyone knows that leprosy breeds itself in houses that have been vacant, right?

The paint I put on my bedroom walls isn't pretty anymore.

There's no hot water attached to the washing machine, but he plans to install it next week. How can I wash diapers without hot water? I guess I can carry buckets of hot water from the sink, but honestly. Socks, towels. I'm a hot-water-washing kind of girl. We all know leprosy only lives in cold-water-laundry.

The washing machine leaked and flooded the laundry room which is, incidentally, full of laundry and so tomorrow I have to take it all to the laundromat. I had a friend offer to use her house, but seriously. How long would it take, hanging out at her house, to wash 10 or more loads of laundry. I'm too much of a homebody for that.

The toilet is sideways and crammed into a corner in the bathroom. I challenge you to sit sideways on your toilet for a week and see if you're not a little backed up.

On a similar note, I got 36 boxes of oatmeal and 100 cups of DanActive yogurt for $33 and the yogurt guarantees it will "get you moving" in 14 days or your money back. I only got it because it was cheap, but I thought that was funny enough to share.

All of our moving boxes are stacked up in my room waiting to go away.

The carpet that was taken out is still on the front porch, along with the nasty couch and the pile of crap.

I think there's a skunk living under the house. Do skunks cause leprosy?

My party Animal and her... Animal

Oh man- I'm sure that I blog about Meagan more often than my other children. I'm not sure why. Oh yeah, it's because she's super cool and hilarious. Now, expect me, in the near future, to come up with some super cool and hilarious things about my other kids so they don't get all jealous that I'm writing about her yet again. So.. here goes.

She wanted one of those teeny little dogs a few years ago but Dad was concerned that she wasn't responsible enough, so in order to prove it to him, she started a dog-sitting business in order to simultaneously raise money to buy herself a little dog. She had a few clients. The one that's kept her the busiest, however, is the mom of an adorable little yorkie and a shih tzu. Actually, the shih tzu died in a de-chicken-boning surgery a few months ago, but that's not the point. Meagan has been dog-sitting for this lady for years and getting paid in scarves, costume jewelry, purses and other things girls like. And she was never upset or ungrateful, she loves the dog and the gifts really are fantastic. It hasn't helped her save for her own dog but it has helped prove that she's responsible. She's taken them to the groomer's, she walks them and cares for them. The very super cool moral of this story is that little Oliver, the Yorkie is a stud and his owner gets to choose whether she wants a puppy from the litter or cash and she's choosing to get Meagan a puppy next time they breed him. Isn't that sweet. How many 12 year old girls can say that they worked for years to reach a goal and will actually get a cool little doggy out of the deal? I'm proud of her. She wants to show it in 4H. I hope they potty train it.

And another funny thing about Meagan (because a second post might make me a bad mom)

She wants a Bat Mitzvah (Jewish coming of age ceremony.) I shouldn't be surprised; the party planner that she is. She wants to learn Hebrew and read the Torah and fulfill all the requirements of a Bat Mitzvah. As soon as possible. She hasn't settled on a theme yet, but she's got a few ideas. She hasn't settled on a location yet, but West Valley Nazarene is her first choice and she's willing to overlook the fact that having a Bat Mitzvah at a church would be weird. She's researched the requirements and there's nothing in the rules against having it at a church.

She also wants a Quincenera. Nevermind the fact that we don't have an ounce of hispanic blood in our veins. I went to Catholic school as a child, does that count?

I'm sure she'll also want a sweet sixteen. I sure hope she's just "getting it all out of her system" and that none of this really means she's going to expect me to pay for some ginormous wedding when she grows up. I hope she marries a man who likes entertaining. I can tell you right now where our family get-togethers will be when I'm old.

School Room Confusion

hey ladies- here's an open call for school room help. help help help. And please forward this post to other homeschoolers who might be able to help. And tweet it if you have a twitter account. I have a huge dilemma.

So we have this loft area in the new house that I'm setting up as our library. I need functionality and storage.

I have shelves.

How is your school room arranged?

We used to group everything according to which year of The Well Trained Mind it fell into. I have a friend who stores everything according to which Sonlight year it goes in. Should i stick with my old method that we've used for several years? Should I keep it all mixed up because they seemed to all secretly trade boxes while they were packed and nothing looks like it's together anymore. Should I use the dewey decimal system?

Our core items that we use daily (current math books and manipulatives, reference books, etc) are handy and that seems to be an obviously smart idea. But as far as history and Science books go, I really liked the Well Trained Mind System.

The other issue is a matter of, I guess, another episode of the OCD show. It's the episode where I like all the books to line up nicely on the shelf. So that tall books aren't overcrowding short books.

And, I have table areas where I'll be making centers for the younger kids and swapping out the materials at the centers regularly. Should the things at the centers be completely original, or should I let them be visible?

I realize these are complicated questions. I wish I could post a picture of the loft but I'm not done unpacking yet. I'll show you a picture when it's unpacked.

Anyways, a lot of homeschoolers post pictures of their school rooms, I think I did last year or the year before. Help me out here and give me some guidance to how your home library is organized. And what to do with the kids' educational videos and software? Should I let them have the computers in their new rooms, since the rooms are bigger than the loft? Or should I cram the computers into the school room, since that's where I want them. or should I put a couch in there, so they can have a book reading nook? Not that I have a spare couch lying around, but there's always freecycle!

Ok- hopefully I'll be flooded with awesome ideas, and Oprah will send a home organization guru to my house with tons of wicker baskets and non-plastic storage solutions.

If You See me in Public, Here's What to Do

OK so I have to admit it's really weird when so many people I know read my blog. I hesitate to write this because maybe then people will be afraid to say these things to me, but when I complained about not having vegetables for the kids, I said "Adversity builds character" and like 6 people repeated those words to me later.

And when I solicited casseroles, we really got like 12 of them over the holidays and like everyone used the word when they delivered it. Is that weird? I mean; whenever I heard the word, I'd search their eyes, looking for other signs of my blog in there. "Thank you so much, it looks delicious, I know I said I raked the leaves, but that was a lie, but the rest is true, see. the house really is sparkling. I thought if I wrote that I raked I'd be inspired to really do it."

And another friend asked me "So, have you moved into Am... the new house yet? Did she say am or um? is Am short for Amityville?

Whenever I tell people I have six daughters they always have a weird reaction. Lately I've wondered if it's because they read the blog of a crazy lady with 6 daughters, or maybe they're just reacting to the actual insanity that 6 daughters is.

When I first started blogging, I wondered about how to get more visitors, now I'm wondering how to offend the least amount of people and still be funny. I've totally stopped analyzing my stats anymore. What do I care if someone in Pine Nugget, Georgia spends 285 minutes reading my back-posts?

So if you're a local person reading my blog and you wanna subtly hint at it when you see me, and you don't have a casserole in your purse; here's the secret signal. Bend your arms at the elbows and touch both shoulders. Then flap them back and forth like a chicken. That will be the secret signal, OK. Then we won't have to waste our breath talking because I really can't supervise 6 kids in public and get to know you at the same time. Although I'd really like to. Send me your blog, it's much more efficient. Just flap, then I'll turn all red with embarrassment and we can move on like it never happened. You don't have to find a way to work in the term "adversity builds character" even though I'm surprised at how easy that's been for people. And drive safely. Eat fiber.

The OCD Show

Every now and then I need to revert to the screen writing format to tell a story. Remember, the whole Thomas incident?

INT. MY HOUSE – NIGHT

It's December 31st and the rest of the world is, I don't know, drinking or something lame like that. I, however, am making bone soup or something and wishing I hadn't taken the beginning of the month off. Really, I'm on the phone. And it's the end of the day so I'm exhausted. And preserving milk so we don't run out, so I'm not having coffee. The kids are enjoying their last Christmas movie film festival before I pack away all the Christmas movies for the year. I am making some sort of list of resolutions or something and realize I don't have a calendar, so I call my husband.

Me
Honey, can you bring home a calendar

Honey
Where am I going to get a calendar/

Me
They're all over the place, it's New Year's. That's when they sell them. Can you just bring me one?

Honey
Yeah, OK. You need one tonight? I have $4

Me
(starting to pant with the stress of it all)
But they're not $4. I need the big one, the desk kind
(getting a little hysterical)
I think they're like $10
(sniffling and trying not to freak out)

Honey
Um... Ok.... So you want a desk calendar

Me
It's not for the desk. It's the only one that has squares big enough to write everybody's activities in. I can't have a small one. The year starts tomorrow. I have to have a calendar

Honey
I'll make you one and print it out

Me
That's really sweet and all but it won't do. The squares won't be big enough. Office Max has them for $5 but I think they're closed (starting to feel weepy) and the office max ones (sniffle) are(sniffle) so (sniffle) UUGGGLLYY. (take a deep breath and straighten up) Plus, I don't think you should have to pay for things with the store's name on it. It has to be pretty. I'll be looking at it all year long. Can you get me a pretty one? Please?

Honey
Jeez, so you want me to go out tonight with $4 and get you a big pretty calendar, but you don't know where they have big pretty calendars for $4

Me
(crying now)
Oh God, forget it just forget it. I'll make a spreadsheet or something.
(because I'm not going to let you ruin my whole year like this)
I love you, goodbye

Honey
OK.. bye... I love you... are you OK?

Me
Of course I'm OK. I just had a plan, OK. I can't start the year without a calendar.

Honey
OK... I love you... bye (hangs up)

Me
Did you hang up on me?

And this is how my 2008 ended. Probably a hunger-induced insanity. For the record, I got a calendar. Meagan ruined it already by writing on it in a different pen. Can you believe the nerve of her? AND, when I confronted her about it, she mocked me. It went something like this

Meagan
OK, so I can have my club thing on January 13th?

Me
Yes, we should be unpacked by then

Meagan
OK thank you (puts calendar away)

Me
Was that my calendar?

Meagan
Yeah. (looks at me like I have three heads)

Me
Did you write on it (way more whiny than a dignified adult should speak)

Meagan
Yeah. You said I could plan it

Me
Oh my god, what pen did you use? Or was it a pencil?

Meagan
this one (holds up the wrong pen and gives me that crazy-mom look)

Me
Oh Mannnnn. You ruined my calendar

Meagan
It's not ruined. Seriously, it's a different pen. Come on , Mom

Me
Fine, I guess you're right. But next time you use the wrong pen on my calendar at least use your nicest handwriting.

Meagan
(rolls her eyes)
OK, I will
(walks away)

Isn't it just peachy the things we learn from our kids. I just learned that I should keep the good pen close to the calendar. Maybe I'll tie a little string around it. How can I color code important things if everyone is going all willy nilly with different colored markers? There will be no way to make things stand out. Scheduling a family this size is serious business. I'm not crazy. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

Everything is Better with Butter

Oh man, have you ever gotten to the point where you're opening mysterious foil packages in the freezer just to see what's for dinner? I actually knew what these packages were, they were Thanksgiving leftovers and they weren't so bad. I'm not sure how long things are allowed to be in the freezer, but 2 months doesn't seem like too long. Actually, it was probably just a month and a half, right? Anyhow, so I remember my grandma used to boil bones and she'd say that that's where all the nutrition was. I have to tell you, this ancient leftover Turkey soup was the most delicious thing I've eaten in a while. I boiled the bones from about 9am (whenever we finished science projects) until about 9pm, and I added a bit of salt to it. It was so delicious and rich. I drank it from a mug like it was coffee or something. I couldn't get enough of the taste. I suggest you try it next time you want a broth, instead of that canned stuff. Nothing beats homemade.

On another note, we finally went grocery shopping so we don't have to explore the freezer archives. I had our meal menus planned out, and I let the kids choose some luxury items. They're so funny, here are the luxury items we got; Yogurt, broccoli, chocolate chips (for cookies) strawberries, bananas, and navel oranges. Didn't I tell you adversity builds character? It is so nice to be eating real vegetables again. A friend of mine recently turned us on to this Brussell Sprouts recipe. Before you puke on your keyboard; here's the recipe fro brussel sprouts that doesn't suck;

2 pounds fresh brussel sprouts, rinsed and trimmed (cut stump off)
2 sticks of butter
1 large clove of garlic
a few pinches of salt

so you put them in your big frying pan and cook them with the lid on, stirring occasionally, until the garlic and butter caramelize and all of the brussels sprouts are slimy and wilted.

I realize that some people think all that butter isn't healthy. I'm glad I'm not one of those people because this dish is absolutely divine. Remember; people have been eating butter for hundreds and hundreds of years, OK. It's real food. Those funky "diet spreads" will make you fat. I swear.

I never ate brussell Sprouts as a kid because they were so bitter and disgusting. I think my Mom steamed them or something. If she added butter, it wasn't like this, all fried and cooked in.

I think I'll be growing them in the garden this year, I can't wait to post pictures of the yard at this house, it's phenomenal. Or at least, it will be.

The Snuggie, As Seen on TV

The Snuggie. I don't even know where to start with this one. The blanket with sleeves. Nevermind that they look ridiculous. One size fits most. Did you notice the little girl in the stands had no hands, because her snuggie sleeves were too long.

And if you're cold enough that you need a snuggie, how can you hold a baby that isn't wrapped up?

And those wide sleeves must be drafty.

And they're really stupid looking.

Did you notice, they never show the back? I think it's open like a hospital gown.

If they came in brown you could be a monk for Halloween

If you got all three colors, you and 2 friends could be Alvin and the chipmunks

Why wouldn't you just wear your bathrobe backwards?


My husband is a funny guy. Sometimes I'll bounce things off of him, to hear him talking smack and claim the humor as my own here on this blog. Here's what he said about the snuggie:

"Yeah, that's cool."

I feel like getting him one just so he can look stupid and I can take a picture and send it to his mom, or his trendy LA cousins. I bet my mother would love one. Hmmm, I'll have to think about who to give the third one to. Maybe I should wait for the snuggie publicist to send me a sample to review. Attention Snuggie publicist: We'd like a blue for Mom, a Black (do they have black or is that too wizardy?) I don't know. Surprise us.

Almost Me Again

So guess what we got today... Century Tel put in the internet at the new house. I haven't really worked much since Nov 20, when I had it turned ff at house #1 thinking we'd be moving sooner. After driving down to Safeway to upload work every day, I started to get discouraged and then the holidays hit and we were delivering cookies, wrapping presents, babysitting, helping a neighbor and packing and working on the new house I just decided to take off the rest of December. Until I was offered another big 30-article set, so I took it but didn't bother with other writing work through the end of December. Then that jimmy-rigged laptop ended up kicking the bucket. Actually, the screen went all wonky and then I beat it to a pulp trying to rescue my data (including the 90% finished screenplay I was working on the MOMENT it crashed)

Anyways- to make a long story short, the data was completely retrievable, with the exception of what I hadn't saved up until that point.

AND- Yakima Networking Rocks.

Have you seen those teeny little laptops that are about the size of a mini DVD player? You pop them open and it looks like a little TV, but it's a computer. This little thing is powerful, it has a huge hard drive, over 100GB, 1.6mhz whatever that means, plus a webcam, it's fast, it runs Windows and it rocks.

I mention that it runs windows because some of them don't and you can't always tell before you buy it, it has like Linux or something. I don't know anything about Linux except that my geekiest friends (and I mean that with love; or geek-envy) use Linux. It's supposed to be safer or something. I don't know. Anyways, these teeny laptops are awesome, mine fits in my little red Aeropostale book bag. (Value Village, 2.99 still had the tags o it) It fits in a manila envelope, but not like the macbook Air.

This little thing is amazing. the keyboard took some getting used to. if I ever feel like not dealing with the lack-of-a-tenkey or a touchpad mouse, I can just plug in a USB keyboard or a USB mouse. it has a card reader, so I can just take the card out of my camera and pop it in. It has bluetooth, so I can send ringtones to my phone. It's amazing.

Don't be fooled into thinking these little things are second-rate computers because they're little. It weighs less than 2 pounds. It comes in pink.

If you're local,. you should seriously consider just stopping into Yakima Networking to check out these awesome little computers. They're so very very reasonable priced, and they rock.

AND- the fun thing about a webcam is that my kids can talk to their Grandparents in their own little web-show. So we need to figure out how to get the grandparents online at the same time, so they can see the girls and chat at the same time. Grandparents are in Baltimore, Maryland and Green valley, Arizona and Woodland Hills, CA. Isn't technology amazing?

I doubt I'll ever be as cool on my webcam as Lotus from Sarcastic Mom, but I can dream, right?

I guess you had to be there

So my sister is hilarious. If she were older than me I'd credit her with my sense of humor, but I guess she just gets it from me. I wish I could say we get it from our father or our Aunt Maryann or Aunt Donna but they are so much funnier than both of us combined. Here's how funny she is, though. She has a 1 year old son, Mason. She got a few party poppers for New Year's Eve and popped one. Mason, instead of being amused and amazed by the explosion of teeny little streamers and making a weight loss resolution or vowing to track his expenses better, reprimanded her fpor making a mess and cleaned it all up. So she did it again. and he did it again. So after she made her little mess like 10 times she decided to celebrate New year's eve in Greenwich Mean Time. In fact, she was so amused with her declaration that she wanted to make it her facebook status, but since she'd updated her status a few hours earlier and already gotten a compliment on it, she didnt' want to change it right away. So she called me so I could laugh at her goofy joke.

Then, she tells me this story about a wedding she went to a long time ago. The clergy attending the wedding had been given a cloak made from an official army blanket. On his cloak, he had several patches. Each patch was made by a couple he had married, as part of their pre-marital counseling. The agreement is that if they ever get divorced, they need to both remove the patch together. A few of the guests had prepared poems and speeches for the happy couple, and a friend had even written a song that she strummed out on the guitar with a chorus that repeated the words "ho-o-o-o-oly matrimo-o-o-o-ny" Imagine that. As goofy as it sounds, I hope a few of my daughters go that route, though. I'm just looking at buying cars, college educations and weddings, thinking the hippy or redneck wedding might not be such a bad idea.

In my boredom

I've been watching TV at night with the kids. I've really started to enjoy House, the doctor show. I think the channel is USA and they run it over and over again, so we end up watching it a few times, well each show is an hour. I like watching them but I end up standing the whole time because I can scrub things during a commercial. Today I got smart and crocheted 4 matching pink elf hats for my littler girls. They'll be Christmas gifts. At $5 for a skein of yarn big enough to make all 4, I think maybe I should go get a few more and make them several of these hats, then I can watch more House without feeling lazy. One thing bugs me about the show. Do doctors really go poking around your house while you're lying there in agony to look for environmental toxins? I mean, that could seriously delay my seeking treatment if that were true. I'd be like “Wait....gasp....honey....don't call 911 until...gasp.....hack....until you mop the bathroom.” And while they're poking around, they're making snotty little comments, like “Hmmmph, it looks like she's breeding dust bunnies under here.” And I'm on my couch crocheting and thinking “Bring the damned pesticides back to the lad and shut the hell up about the dust bunnies, jeez.” I think I've seen it enough that I can pretty much list the symptoms of sarcydosis. I think that's the spelling, anyway you don't want that.

I am Nuts

Surely I have to be the only person on the face of the planet that is completely not capable of relaxing. I hate it. I hate relaxing, I find it.....well..... not very relaxing. Just sitting there, watching TV drives me nuts. But I told my kids I wasn't going to work until after the new year, so instead I have scrubbed my house from top to bottom, every floor, counter top, sink, tub, shower, windowsill, and other flat surface. I have washed and put away every dirty piece of laundry and repaired two dresser drawers. I cleaned the toys from the yard and shoveled snow from the roof of the carport and the walkway and the driveway. I raked the leaves in the side yard while mentally cursing about the little old man who lives there. (He climbed a ladder to remove the last of the leaves from a young tree in his backyard, just to make me look bad) I scrubbed chairs 1-10. Yes, my dining room chairs are numbered and do you know why. Because when I had an index card cleaning system, I made sure to scrub two chairs each week- but not this week, I went wild and did them all. I also scrubbed Amityville from top to bottom, and I removed the carpet in two rooms, I pulled out all of the carpet staples and nails from the floor, I scrubbed and cleaned the kitchen cabinets and drawers, I measured the door frame for a door frame that needs replaced, I put in a new bathroom floor and shampooed the carpet in the bedroom and very large hallway. I moved over five or six trunk loads of boxes, and we can finally walk downstairs again. I mopped the floor in the loft and thought very deeply about the psychological ramifications behind the paint colors in each room in order to determine what would be “best” (laugh- as if you don't do that, too) I still haven't reached any decisions. Anyways, so the whole time I'm doing all of this, I'm thinking really funny thoughts that I never manage to write down. I'm conjuring up fantastic story lines that really deserve to be written into a screenplay or blog post. I just never remember them well enough to type them up. Plus, I hate this computer. A lot. Anyways, so that's me. Zipping around cleaning things as if I were OCD and thinking funny thoughts and then mourning them for being forgotten.

Xmas pictures

This is our cookie decorating party, Spongebob was there.
Grace enjoyed eating the frosting

And here- for the first time in one place, all completely dressed, all with brushed hair, and all smiling at the same time. All 6 girls. This one is for the Grandmas

Quickies Suck

Yes, you read that right. I'm not talking dirty here, though, I'm talking clean. Well, it's supposed to be clean. It's impossible, though. I'm usually a Libman kind of girl, but Safeway doesn't carry Libman brooms and I wanted a new broom right away. My “old” Libman is visiting Amityville and there were crumbs on my kitchen floor. You know it's bad when you think of wearing shoes before you've even made the coffee. So I got this blue broom, with a matching dustpan. Its called a “quickie” And it's the stupidest dustpan I've ever seen. It completely violates the entire purpose of using a dustpan. Whoever designed this dustpan has some serious mental issues, or maybe they live in an anti-gravity zone or something. I've never been so offended by stupidity. OK, that's an exaggeration but really, I am annoyed. I'll try to remember to post a picture with this, so you can look at the angle of the tip of the dustpan. You have to sweep uphill about an inch or so, at an almost 90 degree angle. WTF? Who invented this? Sure, it snaps onto the handle nicely, but whatever. It's a piece of garbage. AVOID buying the blue and grey Quickie broom pictured here, it will only cause you grief. Not only does the dustpan suck, but there isn't as much strength to the bristles as the Libman has, it's like sweeping with a feather duster. Cleaning sucks enough, and this broom and dustpan manages to make it worse.